I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
