its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
