No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
