He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Operation Purity has been aborted
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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