Sry I called you an 8
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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