Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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