Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
