when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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