and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
