I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
