if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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