I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize