oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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