Dual....:-)
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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