Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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