Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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