Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
