is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my shit smells like andre
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
