i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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