i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
