So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
