There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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