Are we in a gay sports bar?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
