sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
