Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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