Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
