Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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