He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
