All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i was born a porn star she said
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
