absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
