just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
