is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
