All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
