I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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