Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
