It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize