you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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