Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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