I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
