walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize