please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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