just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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