I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
