Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
