need another drink. this is the easiest way
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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