Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
