I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
