we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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