He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
