Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize