It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
