i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
