I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
