First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
