Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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