I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
