you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
