we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize