No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
